lesson learned #1

You learn new things about human everyday, every minute especially when we were surrounded with people. You learn that there's so many types of people in this world. Some people are just introvert and do weird stuff and more. Some are just being happy the way they are.

However, we still make friends. Isn't that amazing? How the way you think and the way I think is different but we cooped things up together. I think that's amusing. Back to the track. So yeah, 2015 have taught me a lot of things. In January, I learned deeply about friendship. Okay let me tell you a story about my precious friendship. My friend and I have been friends since our first year. We're in the same class and the same dorm. We're even deskies in class. Can you imagine how close we are? Yeah. It's exactly like what you think. But we're not THAT close at first. I used to be a very bubbly and bright kid. Even so, homesick is a disease you can't resist. 

In June 2013, I did worse in my examination and I had a little mental breakdown. So I decided to be a wallflower after the midterm holidays. I became quieter. I also studied hard for the upcoming examination. And that's when we get closer. We went around the school together and do a lot of things together. In our second year, we became even closer! We got into the same dorm and the same class again! This time, we're not deskies but we're beddies. We're a great pair. I comfort her when she was sad and she also did the same. Everyone in our batch called us 'friendship goals'. Nah really? Yes.

In July 2014, my deskies and I became more closer and yeah I keep a distance between me and my bestfriend. I didn't mean to. It just that I spend a lot more time with my deskies instead of my bestfriend and of course she felt left out. Yeap, this is not a story of me getting dumped but it is a story of me dumping my very own bestfriend. Pathetic huh. Well I realized my mistake and I admit how stupid am I AND I REGRETTED. It takes me months to get rid of this guilty feeling I cried out of the guilty feeling. And now, we don't really talk to each other. Most importantly I learned something from this. Since the incident, I learned to appreciate people more. 

And as the result, I've spent the whole year (my third year) without a bestfriend. Lingering with my other friends. Keeping my stories and opinions deep down in my heart without anyone knowing. I put on a happy face and pretends nothing happened. As if I'm not hurt even though the scar was quite deep. It really gives a tremendous effect on me.Whatever it is, I want to thank my bestfriend for this. I do believe, everything happens for a reason. 

Quite pathetic. My life, I mean.

hol up

Two thousand fifteen, I might say a not-so-great year for me so yeah. It's just another year which I got an examination to score and stuff. I supposed that I should act more like a teenage girl this year but it doesn't seem so. Well, believe me when I said, I'm fifteen. Sometimes, I do question myself, when will I ever grow up? I'm still sloppy and messy and clumsy. I still went around my friends, being as childish as I really am. Sometimes I reckon they must be annoyed with me being so goddamn childish.

My third year in school is not that great even though I'm not a junior anymore. Third year is just a plain usual year that I faced. Nothing to fancies EXCEPT the examination. So, next year is gonna be my fourth year in school. New subjects, challenging i guess. Physics, Chemistry and Addmaths. Oh oh I forgot Biology. Well, I don't believe  that I'm gonna turns 16 in a few months away. It felt like yesterday, when I first stepped my feet into my high school. In the blink of an eye, it's already my fourth year! But why my height still doesn't reach 150cm? I feel like a little kid when everyone in my primary has gone through puberty. Everyone gets taller and prettier and smarter. Subjective huh.

Okay maybe we should stop. Let's talk about my holidays. There's not much to talk about actually. I wake up in the morning to pray then I go back to sleep which is not good actually. I wake up again at 7;30 in the morning and cleans up my bed and eats my breakfast which my dad bought before he went to work while watching some boring programs on television or some interesting shows from my iPad. After I finished my breakfast, I'll go and check if there's any clothes that my mom washes in the morning. So yeah, I got to sidai the clothes while listening to my Passenger's playlist or Kpop playlist. That's so me. After that, I went to my room and watches some Korean dramas or shows or any korean stuff. May be Harry Potter or anything involves MOVIES. Just lazing around and stuff. But not on Mondays because on Mondays, i'll sweep the house's floor, clean the kitchen, bathroom and our front part of the house. When the clock shows 11;30 in the afternoon, I'll wake my brother from his not-so beauty sleep and ask him to buy 'lauk' for our lunch. My dad would've gave him money to buy the foods. So then, I went to the kitchen and 'masak nasi' using rice cooker of course. That's my ultimate talent you know. After that, I continue lazing around with my devices. So not healthy. Please do not do this at home. In the first week of holidays, I work out in the morning. But it just lasts for a week. Back to the track! And yeah sometimes  I do study in the evening. But most of the time, I just laze around. 

That's the main reason why my weight increased rapidly during this holidays. It is so disappointing. Because the last few months, i've been trying hard to be as healthy as other people. But I failed. Nevermind. 

So, my wish for 2016 is that to grow up beautifully next year. Spiritually, physically and emotionally grown up. Hopes my academics is fine next year because I know it's gonna be a tough year.